Tony stumbled into his dark pent house sometime between 3:00 and 4:00 in the morning. He resolved to get a new watch, a digital watch, as the hands on this one were far too tiny to read in the dark.
He tripped over an unfamiliar rug, briefly wondering if Pepper put it there just to spite him. He hadn’t asked her to redecorate, but it wouldn’t be the first time she had done something like this without being asked. She was always being annoyingly thoughtful like that.
He groped around until he found his bedroom light, and flicked it on. He noticed, thankfully, that Pepper had neglected to take down his nude portrait above the bed. Below the portrait, in his bed, was an attractive blonde, staring at him angrily, but, Tony noted, not without interest.
“How dare you enter this place and disturb my slumber, mortal?” she demanded.
“I could ask you the same question. Not that I’m not used to finding women in my bed, but usually I know about it before they get there.” He stared at her blankly, but with what he hoped passed as a seductive smile. She didn’t seem to be responding at all, so for once in his life, Tony Stark was lost for words.
Furious was an understatement. Amora glared hard at him for a moment before relaxing. “I have claimed this residence as my own Mortal. YOU MAY LEAVE!” She stated has she pointed toward the door.
“Or would you rather i turn you into a toad and throw you out the window!” She said at the clearly drunk man.
Tony gathered his wits. Based on her self-important and vaguely archaic speech, he guessed that she might hail from the same place as Thor and his weird brother. Her threats involving magic were also a good indication.
"Look lady, I don’t know where you come from, but in the state of New York, you have to pay good money - sometimes a lot of good money - to own an apartment. This one belongs to me, so if anyone is leaving, it’s you. I’m sure, however, that an arrangement could be reached so we can both stay.”
Tony, smiling again, inched closer to the bed. This woman was gorgeous, but if his assumptions about her were correct, she was probably dangerous. Too dangerous for him without his suit, and without back up. He hoped he could use his famous Stark charm to get her out of the apartment, or at least distract her for long enough to access the spare suit he kept in a suitcase under the bed. It was an outdated model, he remembered regretfully, but he was glad to his own paranoia for placing it where he did.
"What do you say? In that bed, there’s plenty of room for two."
She glared at him icily. A tough sell, but he’d convinced angrier women before. He took another step, still grinning, and prayed that she hadn’t moved the case.
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