Tuesday, April 24, 2012

Tony waited until he was sure that both Asgardians were unconscious - or at least asleep. For once his reputation hadn’t preceded him, and for once Tony was glad of that fact. Then again, Tony wasn’t sure that they’d understand on Asgard what it meant to be a high functioning alcoholic.

Tony had feigned drunkenness, acting as sloppy and giddy as they seemed to expect from him. Loki and Amora were both pretty far gone themselves, and too focused on his hair and beard (what was with that?) to notice whether or not his performance was Oscar worthy.

Looking around, Tony grimaced at the state of his apartment, and for the amount of good booze he’d had to put into this project. Still, getting his apartment back was a worthy cause. Loki was lying half-on, half-off Tony’s leather couch, a position which would have been dangerous for a shorter man. As Loki’s upper half was the one sprawled over Tony’s $3000 rug, Tony gently nudged Loki’s open mouth closed with his foot. No response. He prodded a little harder. Nothing. Feeling bolder, Tony shoved the rest of Loki off the couch, where he landed in a heap on the floor. Good.

Now, Amora. She was easier, having passed out leaning against Tony’s bar. She was more of a wildcard than Loki, since the latter had recently switched teams. After she didn’t respond to feet tickling, or general prodding of various parts of her upper body (Tony remained a gentleman, as much as he may have desired otherwise), Tony decreed her smashed.

Now came the hard part. He indecorously grabbed Amora’s legs, and began to drag her toward the door.

————

20 minutes later, out of breath but satisfied with himself, Tony shut his apartment door, and sighed. HIS apartment door. And it would stay that way for some time. He strategically placed several transmitters around the apartment, in hopes that they really would dampen magic.

He didn’t know where to put the Asgardians, other than “outside”, so he hoped that the inhibitors would work, and that Amora and Loki would just quietly leave and find another place to crash. Hopefully a place that he didn’t own.

Satisfied, Tony swallowed one more glass of scotch, put in some ear plugs, and got into bed for some much needed sleep.

Thursday, April 19, 2012

mistygreenlady:

lokiwantshiswoobie:

Loki took it from her and downed it. For half a second, he could have sworn he was going to spit it back up. That burn going down the back of his throat was unlike any he had experienced before. Marvelous. He tossed the glass on the table carelessly, “You’re going to make an end of me aren’t you?” as he reached for the bottle himself to pour himself another.

Amora continued to pour herself shots until she was a non-stop giggling mess on the floor next to Loki. The only time she didn’t giggle was when the was drinking. “LOKI! Loki you know what, I think that one mortal, hehehe, Stark, hehe, he should remove his beard. He cuts it at weird angles. HAHAHA It’s like he wants to be an artist but can’t paint so he plays with his beard. hehehe” she downed another shot. “..plays with his beard.” and she entered another giggle fit.

Tony Stark walked up to the door of his penthouse - his penthouse - as quietly as he could in the Iron Man suit. JARVIS had informed him that Amora was inside, so he planned to take his apartment back by force. He prayed that the beta magic resistant shield he had been working on would be effective in the field. He hadn’t been able to test it.

"There are two beings inside, sir" JARVIS noted.

"Wait, she’s got a friend in there now?"

"Apparently. Another non-human, but of a different race than Amora."

Tony turned on external audio. He could dimly hear a woman’s laughter coming from inside. Underneath her frankly manic giggling were deeper, huskier tones that Tony didn’t recognize. It sounded like JARVIS was right, and there were only two of them in there. Well. He had faced worse odds before. Besides, there’s no time like the present.

Monday, April 9, 2012

mistygreenlady:

starknakedindustries:

Tony gathered his wits. Based on her self-important and vaguely archaic speech, he guessed that she might hail from the same place as Thor and his weird brother. Her threats involving magic were also a good indication.

“Look lady, I don’t know where you come from, but in the state of New York, you have to pay good money - sometimes a lot of good money - to own an apartment. This one belongs to me, so if anyone is leaving, it’s you. I’m sure, however, that an arrangement could be reached so we can both stay.”

Tony, smiling again, inched closer to the bed. This woman was gorgeous, but if his assumptions about her were correct, she was probably dangerous. Too dangerous for him without his suit, and without back up. He hoped he could use his famous Stark charm to get her out of the apartment, or at least distract her for long enough to access the spare suit he kept in a suitcase under the bed. It was an outdated model, he remembered regretfully, but he was glad to his own paranoia for placing it where he did.

“What do you say? In that bed, there’s plenty of room for two.”

She glared at him icily. A tough sell, but he’d convinced angrier women before. He took another step, still grinning, and prayed that she hadn’t moved the case.

“How DARE you! I am no concubine! And I refuse to leave this residence!” Amora said as she stood up from the bed. “And you will keep your distance from me mortal!” 

Amora was in no mood to deal with mortals this evening and she was not going to lose her new home. “I am Amora the Enchantress. You will show me respect!” She made sure to make a show of her power by having her eyes glow and emitting a misty glow around her hands.

Tony took note of the magic show, but guessed that for someone haughtily calling herself “the Enchantress” - which sounded to Tony like a Drag Queen - her bark could be worse than her bite. Still, he didn’t want to take any chances.

Tony put his hands up and tried to look as non-threatening as possible. Not that she seemed to be threatened by him anyway. “Look, okay, I’ll get out of your hair. You can have my apartment, I’ve got others. I just want to grab my suitcase that’s under the bed, okay?” He wondered if she knew what a suitcase was. “It’s just uh - a box with some clothes and stuff in it. I paid a lot for those suits, and I don’t think they’d flatter your figure very well, so I’ll just take them off your hands.” He dived under the bed and flailed his arms until they landed on something made of solid metal.

Thank God, he thought, then he felt himself being dragged back onto the open floor.

Sunday, April 8, 2012

mistygreenlady:

starknakedindustries:

Tony stumbled into his dark pent house sometime between 3:00 and 4:00 in the morning. He resolved to get a new watch, a digital watch, as the hands on this one were far too tiny to read in the dark.

He tripped over an unfamiliar rug, briefly wondering if Pepper put it there just to spite him. He hadn’t asked her to redecorate, but it wouldn’t be the first time she had done something like this without being asked. She was always being annoyingly thoughtful like that.

He groped around until he found his bedroom light, and flicked it on. He noticed, thankfully, that Pepper had neglected to take down his nude portrait above the bed. Below the portrait, in his bed, was an attractive blonde, staring at him angrily, but, Tony noted, not without interest.

“How dare you enter this place and disturb my slumber, mortal?” she demanded.

“I could ask you the same question. Not that I’m not used to finding women in my bed, but usually I know about it before they get there.” He stared at her blankly, but with what he hoped passed as a seductive smile. She didn’t seem to be responding at all, so for once in his life, Tony Stark was lost for words.

Furious was an understatement. Amora glared hard at him for a moment before relaxing. “I have claimed this residence as my own Mortal. YOU MAY LEAVE!” She stated has she pointed toward the door.

“Or would you rather i turn you into a toad and throw you out the window!” She said at the clearly drunk man. 

Tony gathered his wits. Based on her self-important and vaguely archaic speech, he guessed that she might hail from the same place as Thor and his weird brother. Her threats involving magic were also a good indication.

"Look lady, I don’t know where you come from, but in the state of New York, you have to pay good money - sometimes a lot of good money - to own an apartment. This one belongs to me, so if anyone is leaving, it’s you. I’m sure, however, that an arrangement could be reached so we can both stay.”

Tony, smiling again, inched closer to the bed. This woman was gorgeous, but if his assumptions about her were correct, she was probably dangerous. Too dangerous for him without his suit, and without back up. He hoped he could use his famous Stark charm to get her out of the apartment, or at least distract her for long enough to access the spare suit he kept in a suitcase under the bed. It was an outdated model, he remembered regretfully, but he was glad to his own paranoia for placing it where he did.

"What do you say? In that bed, there’s plenty of room for two."

She glared at him icily. A tough sell, but he’d convinced angrier women before. He took another step, still grinning, and prayed that she hadn’t moved the case.

Saturday, April 7, 2012

mistygreenlady:

It didn’t take long for Amora to find an apartment. 

She found a lovely place with view of the whole city. It was spacious and already furnished. She only needed to make a few touch-ups here and there to make it to her liking.

First to go was a large portrait of some sort of armored man using red, blue, and white colors. She added a few rugs and pillows and decided she was finished for now in the living area. 

She moved to a bedroom that was to her liking in size and snapped her fingers. When she was done, it looked almost exactly like her room in Asgard.

“I will worry about the rest later.” She said to herself as she magic-ed a sleeping gown on and curled into her new bed.

Tony stumbled into his dark pent house sometime between 3:00 and 4:00 in the morning. He resolved to get a new watch, a digital watch, as the hands on this one were far too tiny to read in the dark.

He tripped over an unfamiliar rug, briefly wondering if Pepper put it there just to spite him. He hadn’t asked her to redecorate, but it wouldn’t be the first time she had done something like this without being asked. She was always being annoyingly thoughtful like that.

He groped around until he found his bedroom light, and flicked it on. He noticed, thankfully, that Pepper had neglected to take down his nude portrait above the bed. Below the portrait, in his bed, was an attractive blonde, staring at him angrily, but, Tony noted, not without interest.

"How dare you enter this place and disturb my slumber, mortal?" she demanded.

"I could ask you the same question. Not that I’m not used to finding women in my bed, but usually I know about it before they get there." He stared at her blankly, but with what he hoped passed as a seductive smile. She didn’t seem to be responding at all, so for once in his life, Tony Stark was lost for words.